fat, sick, and tired

This was not a great weekend for my self-esteem.  I've been eating a lot of fiber lately, making sure to get my recommended daily allowance through a combination of Fiber One products and whole foods.  Honestly, I've been feeling better.  I feel lighter, cleaner, and slightly happier since starting the fiber kick.  To be completely honest, I'm eating well about 75% of the time.  The remainder of my meals consists of junk food.  I was thinking that my 3:1 ratio of good food:bad food would be okay, but when I stepped on the scale yesterday, I was surprised to see that I had actually gained weight.  

This put me into a funk.  I thought that weighing myself would take me out of the work-induced funk of Saturday morning tutoring at school.  I was feeling lighter and a positive result would go a long way toward making me feel better.  I rationalized the result.  I had, after all, basically binged since about 3 PM Friday, so why should I expect to lose weight when I eat like crap for 36+ hours?  I started to feel better when I realized that it was temporary and that my true loss would show up when I made corrections to my diet and wholeheartedly tried to lose weight.  Half-hearted attempts win half-assed results.

On top of that, I woke up feeling sick yesterday.  That's the damn problem with working with children; they're always sick.  I try as hard as I can not to miss any day of work.  I should take advantage of my sick and personal time, but I don't like leaving my kids in the hands of a substitute teacher unless I absolutely must.  I felt crappy yesterday.  I was so thankful that my wife took herself and my daughter over to her mother's house yesterday to give me a little time to myself.  I did my seasonal cleanup of the backyard and sulked on the couch during the Bills game.  I had a nice pity party for myself and I was glad that no one was around because I probably would have spread my crappy mood to the rest of my family, doing an incredible amount of unnecessary damage to an otherwise happy household.  I watched TV, lamented my fattitude, and snapped out of it just before they came home.  

I was hoping that school would be canceled today due to inclement weather.  I could use some extra sleep.  The storm woke me up around 4 AM last night and it took me a little while to fall back asleep.  Before I knew it, my cell phone alarm was playing an awful tune telling me to get up.  That's no way to start your day.